You guessed it! It’s Verizon.

On the surface, the new plans sound simpler than the current Get More, Play More, etc. There are two options – one expensive and one slightly cheaper – and you add the extra services you want, such as the Disney/Hulu bundle or Apple Music Family a la carte. That’s nice in theory, but if you’re switching from one of the current unlimited plans, it’s very likely you’ll have to pay more if you want the same things you used to get included in your monthly rate.

For example, I would lose the Disney bundle if I switched from my current plan, Play More, to the new Unlimited Plus plan, even though I would still pay $80 per month. Sure, the new plan comes with unlimited premium data, which my current plan doesn’t offer, but I’d rather watch The Handmaid’s Tale free and live with a theoretical data limit that I’m sure I never reached.

As always, Verizon isn’t looking for ways to help us save money; Verizon is looking for ways to save Verizon money. It’s probably very expensive for Verizon to keep bundle deals and cloud storage space on plans where customers don’t use them — or might not even realize they exist. By disconnecting its subscription services, Verizon ensures it only pays for services you actually use. And when Disney raises its subscription fees, Verizon isn’t stuck with the bill for the increase.

Plus, these plans are just plain confusing. There is an old subscription called ‘Welcome Unlimited’ and a new subscription called ‘Unlimited Welcome’. Great, makes perfect sense. Also, Verizon is still playing its cute little game of not including “Ultra Wideband” mid-band 5G in its lower plan, just the much slower “Nationwide” version, which is largely LTE only, dressed up as 5G.

The plans may be new, but they’re part of the same old game that this country’s mobile carriers love: create new plans, make them more expensive in a way that’s hard to understand, then push customers to the new plans by dangling free phones for them. Of course, no one is forced to switch to these new plans, but when iPhone season comes around, rest assured that those “iPhone 15 on us” deals will be a requirement for moving to the more expensive new plan .