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I don’t like my neighbor. He is old, conservative and very loud at times when our children are asleep. There are many more reasons, but let’s get into the real topic of this article. I eventually found ways to channel my anger and release it from my body. At some point I realized that it is not healthy for myself or my family. The person who was most frustrated was me, and the other person didn’t even know it. I just realized this is not the role model I want to be for my kids so I started my own journey to fix this. Here are some ways you can do it too:
1. Gratitude Post of the Week
This became a real tradition for me! At the end of the week, I wrote a social media post highlighting all the things I’m thankful for. Especially as entrepreneurs, we so often focus on and stress things that need to be done, but this allowed me to focus on the really important things: my family, health, and the positive relationships around me. Shifting your focus from the negative to the positive things in your life should be an integrated habit in your life! Not only does this feel really good, but it’s also a great way to keep in touch with the people I have a positive relationship with, because I tag them all and they see my posts!
Related: How To Turn Anger Into Constructive Action
2. Realize the effect anger has on your body and health
Anger is a natural emotion, but it can also have one long-term side effects on our mental and physical health. Some of the short-term and long-term health problems associated with uncontrolled anger include:
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Headache
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Insomnia
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Increased anxiety
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Depression
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High bloodpressure
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Skin problems
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Heart attack
When I first read this list of potential problems, I just thought, “Do I really want to risk this because of a neighbor?” So ask yourself what you get from the situations that make you angry. In most cases you get nothing.
3. Ask yourself: Where does this anger come from?
Often these strong feelings stem from past or childhood experiences. In my case, I repeated fifth grade at my school and it was a very intense experience. I had no real friends and failed in almost all subjects. At that time I was criticized a lot and I had a hard time when people made fun of me. To some extent, I overcompensated and reacted emotionally whenever I had a negative experience with someone (like the neighbor I mentioned earlier).
So think about where your anger comes from and what it is rooted in. Analyzing and understanding your anger will help you deal with it better. I also realized that anger is an important part of our emotional intelligence because it helps us know when something needs to change in our lives.
Related: What anger says about you
4. Put things in perspective
Will you think about this situation in 10 years? Will I think about my stupid neighbor in the year 2032? Not really! Who cares? We have plans to move to a cooler city and take cool trips, so who cares about this old man? Putting situations into perspective in this way allowed me to think differently and let go of some of my anger.
5. Get professional help and forgive
If you feel that your anger is out of control or that it’s putting a real damper on your life and relationships, it’s a good idea to seek professional help. Qualified professionals can help you develop the skills and mindset you need to deal with these emotions.
It’s also important to practice forgiveness as you navigate your anger. I am a big fan of Dr. Wayne Dyer, who has written many best-selling books on psychology. He is also called the father of motivation. His main message in all of his books is this idea of forgiving not only other people but also yourself for the things that may have happened as a result of your anger. At the same time, it is important to embrace the moment and live a life of growth. So try to forgive anyone who causes you to get angry, and then move on by focusing on your personal growth.
Related: Seeing Red? 8 ways to control your anger
I wouldn’t give my neighbor credit for it, but writing about this situation has helped me in many ways, and it also led to this article. Neighbor anger is very common, and many people can identify with it, so why not share and write about my experience? Taking the time to write about your experiences can help you gain more control over your emotions. And sharing your experiences gives you the opportunity to receive (and give) advice, making you and others feel less alone. Where can you publish and share your own experiences?
7. Talk about it
Find someone you trust to talk to about such experiences. In my case that is my wife. When we talk about these situations, we look for a solution together. Usually my wife gives me ideas to focus on and execute. So find someone you can talk to. Talking to someone else about a struggle is better than just thinking about the struggle in your head.
Even with the best plan, old habits sometimes come back. Be gentle with yourself and remember that this is a marathon, not a sprint. It takes time, and you may need two or more rounds of working on yourself before it really works for you.
Always remind yourself that there is a reason why you are feeling this strong emotion. Asking the “why” question is critical and helps you dig deep into your past. Finding the true reason and accepting it will help you overcome the situation. Focusing on your personal growth will not only boost your confidence, but also help you grow in your professional relationships.
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